A year of no writing is totally unacceptable...
However...
the big news is that 30 is more than peeking through my door - stirring up emotions that are bittersweet.
For the past couple of months, I have been googling about how other people out there in the internet felt when they clocked 30, and boy is this a big deal. OK. I have been making it a big deal for the past couple of months.
I just so happened to stumble on this Glamour of "shoulds" for age 30. Let me work through them and see where I am at:
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.- A purse
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age -- and some money set aside to help fund it.
8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account -- all of which nobody has access to but you.
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
13. The belief that you deserve it. - My deity definitely needed to have cut me some slack.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.
By 30, I should know ...
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself - Truthfully, I am still trying to get the hang of it.
2. How you feel about having kids - I already know where I am headed.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away. - This has been one of the toughest lessons I have to go through.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next. - I think that is figured out too.
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town - Ummm Yes.
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to - Did that in college....Now I am a mother.
8. Where to go -- be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat -- when your soul needs soothing - My soul needs soothing when I am alone in a very loud place. The contrast in environments between my head and the outside environment is just what I need to check in with myself.
9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents. - Yeah...just starting to embrace the latter. These folks are not about to change.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over. - Oh yeah!!!!!!
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love. - YUP!!
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long. - Very true.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally. - I got this in check.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault. - YUP!
15. Why they say life begins at 30 - I can't wait.
I am ready for you, 30. Let's rock this decade.
Ab Intra
